did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
