eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Girls should come with a carfax report
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize