i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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