Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
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