Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
