So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize