hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I would ride that face into the sunset
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
