Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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