At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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