I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
