I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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