He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
