At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
