FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
