In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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