Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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