Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
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