He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
