So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
There r osticjed everywhere
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
