I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
