All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Randomize
