i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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