Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
