office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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