He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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