I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
is it fun? or sober?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
