I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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