Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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