there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
