My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
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