So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
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