so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize