Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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