if only i could text you this smell
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Randomize
