Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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