Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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