I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
