My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Randomize
