Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
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