Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
