I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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