my phone needs a breathalizer
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
