sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
You really coming over, don't trick.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
