u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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