You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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