...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
