she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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