you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Holy shit dude........stairs
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
