just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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