Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
should my penis look like a turkey
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I think a kid would responsible me up
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
