I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize