I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
