no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
