you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
