You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
