shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
