wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
he high fived his dick after we had sex
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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