Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
