I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Randomize