dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
