love makes seman taste better
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize