My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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